


green hellebores and cellos

by ienablu



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Dollhouse, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Episode: s01e19 The Only Light in the Darkness, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 12:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ienablu/pseuds/ienablu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The life of Audrey Nathan involves falling in love with yellow flowers, the cello, and Phil Coulson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	green hellebores and cellos

**Author's Note:**

> At the time of starting this, it did not appear there were any fic working off the same premise. Now there are two, but glancing at the tags, it seems they both work a different angle, so hopefully this fic isn't redundant.
> 
> For those unfamiliar with Dollhouse, this may not make much sense. For those familiar with Dollhouse, it goes exactly where you'd think it would. 
> 
> A fancy – and thematically relevant – coded version can be found [here](http://ienablu.webs.com/ienu/k/fic/hellebores.html).

Audrey has spoken to the music director and assistant conductor, and she's allowed to stay after rehearsal ends to continue her practice. She has not liked to be alone these past few months, but her protective agent is in the third row.

The lights remain on as she slides through a few Bach suites for the unaccompanied cello. Minutes and measures float by, the music only interrupted when she has to flick the score to the next page. She does not think of Daniels, nor does she fear him, nor does he matter. All that matters is the weight of the cello nestled in her lap, the strings taut under her fingers, the bow under her grip.

When she finishes, the protective agent claps.

Audrey gives a small curtesy. He gives out a small laugh, which makes her laugh.

He joins her on stage as she lays the cello in its case. "You're a beautiful player," her protective agent says. He immediately straightens himself up. "I mean, you play beautifully," he quickly amends, a sheepish smile on his face.

Audrey smiles at him. "Thank you," she says, softly.

Daniels is soon dealt with, and it takes Phil a week after to ask her out on a date.

❀ ❀ ❀

There are yellow calla lilies on the table, and Audrey smiles when she sees them. Once the waiter leaves with their drink orders, she reaches a finger out, and traces along one of the petals. "I've always loved yellow flowers," Audrey says.

"Really?" Phil asks. It's not his _really_ when he already knows what Audrey has just said, but one the rarer _really_ , where his eyes take on a light of curiosity.

"They make me happy," Audrey says. She smiles, and her eyes slide closed as memories wash over her. "I grew up a block away from a park. I loved the dandelions – in the spring and summer, there was nothing like it. When I was six and seven, it seemed like that park went on forever, that bright green grass, all those bright yellow flowers. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, and at least twice a week I would beg for her to take me out on a picnic for lunch. When it got late in the summer, and the flower turned to seeds, I blew every dandelion puff I could, and next spring, I felt like the dandelions were mine."

When she opens her eyes, Phil is staring at her, soft, fond.

Audrey huffs a laugh. "That probably sounds silly," she says, ducking her head.

"No, no... I had allergies had a kid, and never spent too much time near flowers. And I've never really put too much thought into them."

They talk of flowers through appetizers and entrees, Phil deciding he's fond of daisies, Audrey defending the appearance of daffodils. Through dessert and after, Phil talks of the flowers he'll buy her, sunflowers to make her happy in every room, the way she makes him happy.

❀ ❀ ❀

A bouquet of yellow calla lilies arrive at her doorstep with a note. _Difficult day at work. Either I made it through, and things are alright, or I died and I want you to know I was thinking of you._

Audrey cries for days.

She calls one of the numbers she was given from SHIELD, trying to find out what happened, but all details are withheld.

The days pass, and all the small things remind her of him. The flowers wilt, and Audrey can't stand the sight, and so she buys replaces them with another bouquet.

Eventually she grows tired of the calla lilies, and she opts for tulips, sunflowers, daffodils, daisies, everything she can think of. To make her happy in every room, the way...

It doesn't help.

She feels restless and doesn't sleep well. The grief does not abate. She calls Sophia, cries to her. At Sophia's suggestion, Audrey takes a leave of absence from the orchestra.

❀ ❀ ❀

She has a recital upcoming.

Daniel comes after her.

SHIELD comes back into her life.

Jemma and Antoine are both very sweet. They are both also reminders that Phil is no longer with her.

She's brought in as bait.

Daniels approaches her.

He takes down Jemma and Antoine and Fitz.

This is a terror that Audrey has not felt in years. She is scared, she doesn't know what to do.

There's a loud static sound of the speakers being turned on. A voice, female and lightly accented, says, "There are three flowers in a vase."

Daniels looks around for a moment, then continues his approach towards her.

"The third flower is–"

❀ ❀  
❀ ❀ ❀

"–yellow."

Audrey opens her eyes, unaware of when she closed them, then blinks against the harsh stage lights. Fear flutters through her, blood pounds through her ears. She's on the floor of the stage, and and she has no idea how she wound up on the floor. Her entire body is sore, and she's confused.

Jemma enters her field of vision. "Audrey," she says, alarm evident in her voice. "Are you alright?"

"Jemma?" Audrey asks. "What happened?" She tries to push herself up, and finds that her arms are too weak to do so. Her muscles are throbbing in pain, even though she had been fine two moments ago. "What's happening?"

"Miss Nathan," Antoine says, coming into her vision. There's something to his voice that is quiet and soothing, but cautious. "I am going to help you to your feet, now. Is that alright?"

She frowns at him, but nods. Her knees give out on her a few times, but he supports her until she can stand on her own feet. "I don't understand," she says.

Another agent has come up, and has been arguing with Jemma in hushed tones. 

"Neither do we," Antoine replies. "But Daniels is gone."

"Am I safe?" she asks.

"We don't know yet," he replies.

Jemma comes back over, a tight smile on her face. "We're going to need to speak with you, Audrey."

❀ ❀ ❀

Audrey's taken to the manager's office. Cramped but clean, like it has been on every visit, but something feels different. Wrong.

"One of our agents will be with you in just a moment," Jemma tells her.

The door closes.

The lock clicks.

Audrey waits.

The door opens.

Phil steps into the room.

Audrey stands up. "Phil?" she asks, hardly believing it.

He gives her a thin smile – the kind when he's being polite, but is secretly unhappy.

"Phil?" she asks again. She had wanted to throw herself at him, wrap her arms around him. It's what she's dreamed about doing whenever she's dreamed about him coming back. But the way he's looking at her leaves her still. She frowns. "What's wrong?"

He stares at her for a moment longer. "We ran your blood work," he says.

"Did you find out why I fainted?" Audrey asks. "I have no idea what happened, I was just so scared, but I knew – you watched out for me, and I knew that you would do it again." She blinks back the tears in her eyes, her hand raising to her mouth. "I knew you weren't dead. I knew you couldn't be."

"Sit down, Audrey," he says, gesturing towards the chair, as he himself sits down across from her.

She frowns, but does as he says. "What's wrong, Phil?"

"I need you to–" Phil starts, before cutting himself off. His eyes close for a long moment. When he opens them up again, his expression is entirely neutral. "Why the cello?" he finally asks.

Her frown increases. "What do you mean?"

"I always wanted to know, and never got around to asking. Now..." He shakes his head. "It seems as good a time as any. Why the cello?"

Audrey closes her eyes to draw out the memory. "I actually started out playing the viola. I loved the strings, always have, ever since my mom started playing Mozart when she was cleaning the dishes from our picnic. She and my father were glad that I wanted to join the orchestra, but they didn't think I was old enough – or tall enough – for a cello, and so they talked me into playing the viola. I liked it but never loved it, though I kept playing it, from fifth grade through eighth grade. Once I graduated junior high, I got a job, and in addition to all money from all my birthdays and Christmas and everything in between, I could afford my own cello. I talked to my parents, and they agreed to pay for my lessons. When ninth grade came around, I joined the orchestra playing the cello. And I just... I love it. It's deeper, it's richer, it's soothing to me." Audrey opens her eyes.

Phil is staring at her. His expression is still neutral, but at the same time he still looks heartbroken. He stands up. "I'm so sorry what's happened to you," he tells her. "Goodbye, Audrey."

The idea of Phil leaving her sends a jolt of fear through her. "What do you mean?" she asks.

Phil turns away from her.

Audrey stands up.

Phil leaves.

Sophia enters.

Audrey knows her.

Sophia smiles, and comes over, and touches her shoulder. "It's time for your treatment."

She smiles. "I enjoy my treatments."


End file.
